Party or die

Celebrating small wins so you don't burn out

From ages 19 to 36 I worked with the same therapist. For a time, she knew me better than anyone, certainly better than I knew myself. Over the years, the understanding lagged a bit. We continued to scrutinize the hidden self-destructive motives behind all my decisions, even as I began to suspect that maybe—at 30—I could trust myself more than I had as a teenager.

Archival shot of the author at 19.

But before all that, she saved my life in many ways. One of them was to teach me the importance of letting myself celebrate each little victory. You got a positive rejection to a short story you sent out? Go for a walk, journal about feeling proud of yourself. The short story was accepted? Holy shit! Take the afternoon off to read. Or maybe buy yourself a little treat—nothing fancy, but something sweet. A scone, a book, a new roll of washi tape.

Why? Because if you immediately move on to the next goal, the next challenge—if you don’t take time to let yourself feel good for what you have accomplished—you will run out of fuel, and you will give up. The only way to do this for the rest of your life is to do it with kindness. That is the only way you can make art every day, every day until the last day. Or that’s what she taught me to believe, anyway.

Today I have a new story out in Epoch, Cornell’s venerable lit mag. As anyone who regularly sends out stories knows, every acceptance is prefaced by dozens of rejections.

Cover by David Pjecha: Transit (2023).

And so, it’s time to celebrate. I am enlisting your help in deciding what little treasure I should purchase as mark the occasion. I was paid $300 for the story, so I figure spending up to $15 seems reasonable.

Here are the options.

I’ll buy whatever the votes tell me to. Poll will be live for one week.

Option 1

Midori Translucent Sticky Notes ($6.50 at Desk Gems, which is currently having a buy-3-get-1-free situation.)

I am profoundly a sucker for anything pretty and delicate. These sticky notes are great because you get three styles of paper: brown kraft paper, white paper with a colorful border, and tracing paper (which I’ve also heard referred to as, charmingly, vellum paper). I use sticky notes such as these to insert sentences into printed-out drafts.

Option 2

Scented Zebra Mildliner Highlighters ($15, JetPens).

It is a little astounding to me that I don’t own these already. As I’ve detailed before for LitHub, I highlight manuscripts so that I can keep track of the various “threads” in each story/chapter. It’s a nice visual way of determining how the concerns of the story are weighted—not by reading and keeping track mentally, but by standing back and looking at the balance of colors. (Or, with these beauties, the balance of scents?!)

Option 3

This shockingly beautiful washi tape by Taiwanese artist Pion ($14, Desk Gems).

My use of washi tape has been well documented in this newsletter. Some might say, over documented!

Those are the options! I await your instructions.

Wishing you all a peaceful shabbos. And thank you to my friends at Epoch for giving this story about an aging butch a home.